Its really pretty normal to feel lost and question EVERYTHING after a dynamic like this dissolves. So don’t feel like you’re unusual for this. Its due to the level of trust and dependence typically being much higher. So when problems arise, its natural to question everything else because if the smallest amount of trust is broken, due to the nature of the relationship, it will effect EVERYTHING, because the trust you have is EVERYTHING and underpins EVERYTHING. If you’re questioning that, in the very least it calls for a break to reassess for yourself what your next move is going to be, what you want going forward and to gather your thoughts together and ask if you can ever trust them again. If the answer is no… THATS PERFECTLY OKAY AND PERFECTLY NORMAL. You must do what preserves your health and happiness and if thats breaking it off and loosing trust in humanity for a while then, so be it. You’ll be able to build it up again when you meet a person who you want to do that for. Don’t despair at yourself and your situation when youre questioning your trust in someone, to me, all it sounds like is that you’re making a very smart decision for your well-being. Also its okay not to feel okay. In my experience a bdsm relationship break up is much more painful than a vanilla break up due to the depth of trust needed.
Good luck. You do whatever it is to feel safe and contented and I wish you happiness in the future. Xx
Ever your ally,