You Can’t Love Others Until You Love Yourself…… WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP.

TW: alot of swearing, suicide, toxic thoughts and actions, abuse. Society is fucked.

Something that was brought to my attention by a friend that fired me up….

It’s in relation to the saying “You can‘t love others until you Love yourself.”

Some people put this in the box of abuse, meaning, they interpret this as knowing your worth so as to not put up with Abusive behaviours. This is very Naive thinking.

I think that everyone has toxic traits, depending who you speak to, some people like you and some people don‘t, different people bring out different qualities in each other.

Further to this, people who are really extreme toxic are usually created from trauma and there are many many reasons for these people being accepted into the Lives of others, such as empathy, the “saving people” complex, vulnerability physically or emotionally, energy, self worth, etc.

No one is 100% toxic, some people need help, some people totally reform behaviours,
It’s far too much of a complex issue with many factors for people to box up in one sentence.


You can absolutely love the toxic person, you can love yourself, you can love yourself and love the person who is dishing out abuse as well. There’s so many different circumstances.


There is a person i know who is a Royal c*** but is not that mentally with it anymore (she has always been extremely rude person), I can put up with the abuse when I have to, I love myself.

You know what would make me not love myself as much? Not attempting to keep a relationship with Her before she dies. Keeping the peace between her and others i love, Because I also love them and it eases their life’s burdens a little.

Not loving others just simply doesn’t mean you love yourself more or vice versa. It just isn’t that black and white.

Also how do you recognise your own worth anyway? I’d say its through mostly reactions and praise from others. How do you know you’ve done a good job? Either by a criteria set by others, preconceived ideas you learnt from family,friends and society or direct praise from others. How do you know you’re worth without others? Even your existence was created by another?

With abuse, how do you love yourself without first being shown how? How do you know better treatment without letting others in to show you?

If anything, if you have little love for yourself, you NEED others to HELP you build it up and convince you that you‘re worth loving.


Like i dont get the “You can‘t love others till you love yourself” thing……. what the actual fuck? Back the fuck up, So now you don’t love yourself and noone else does? Sounds real healthy…..FUCKEN NOT. THATS TOXIC AS ALL SHIT TO LET PEOPLE BELIEVE THEY SHOULD BE ALONE WHEN STRUGGLING TO LOVE THEMSELVES.


That, (on an extra morbid note) ,
Right there, explains a reasonable number of suicides.

Human beings rely on love and i mean in all forms, (DONT JUST SEXUALISE WHAT IM SAYING) from each other, we are community animals, we aren’t wired to be alone. Infact we are wired to care for others as a COMMUNITY, the injured (heart, mind, body and soul), the young and the elderly. We are wired to be taught by the others more than ourselves, WE ARE WIRED TO TEACH, LOVE, AND SUPPORT EACHOTHER.

SO WHERE THE ACTUAL FUCK DID THIS IDEA COME FROM!?!?! WHERE THE FUCK DID SOCIETY GO SO WRONG!?!?!?!

Where did so many people lose their instinct? Oh i know,
THOSE STUPID FUCKERS IN SOCIETY THAT SPIT OUT LINES LIKE YOU CAN’T LOVE OTHERS TILL YOU LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!

Always strive to be worthy of love, but its NORMAL to learn from others why you are worth being loved in the first place.

I dunno, i’m on spectrum so maybe that’s why I don’t really get it this phrase. All i think about is the programmed human response to stick together rather than appart, the programmed need to have your existence validated. 🤷‍♀️

Published by foxhacks

Primal Fox Kink and Poly Educator.

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