By Xntrek (Partner and Service Top of Fox)
Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a romantic couple.
Relationship Anarchy doesn’t prioritise, rank or compare people and relationships – the philosophy is to cherish the individual and each unique connection to them. Each relationship is an independent, autonomous connection between individuals.
A core aspect of RA is respecting others’ independence and self-determination. Each relationship is truly mutual. Love is not more “real” when people make concessions for each other just because it’s part of what’s expected.
Radical relationships must have conversation and communication at the heart – not as a state of emergency which is only brought out to solve “problems”. it is about communication in a context of trust where all individuals are explicitly and transparently expressing their needs, boundaries and values. Choosing to assume that your partner does not wish you harm leads you down a much more positive path than a distrustful approach where you need to be constantly validated by the other person to trust that they are there with you in the relationship.
Being free to be spontaneous – to express oneself without fear of punishments or a sense of burdened “shoulds” – is what gives life to relationships based on relationship anarchy. Organize based on a wish to meet and explore each other – not on duties and demands and disappointment when they are not met.
Of course, Life would not have much structure or meaning without joining together with other people to achieve things.
Relationship anarchy is not about never committing to anything – it’s about designing your own commitments with the people around you, and freeing them from the heterosexist social norms dictating that certain types of commitments are a requirement for love to be real, or that some commitments like raising children or moving in together have to be driven by certain kinds of feelings. Radical relationships start from scratch and explicitly communicate about what kind of commitments they want to make with other people.
Love is abundant
every relationship is unique
Love and respect – instead of entitlement
keep your core set of relationship values
Build for the ‘lovely unexpected’
Trust is better
Change through communication
Customize your commitments